Atelier Log I’ve very gradually started on a slightly modified version of the Konmari Method. I say slightly modified because I personally cannot actually do the “purge everything at once” thing that the method truly calls for. I’m far too low-energy for that, even on my best days. But anyway, I’ve started collecting storage containers and boxes to put things in — to give things a home, as it were. I went to the dollar store recently and used a gift card from Christmas to buy a whole bunch of boxes.
Recently I also started to use a wrist brace because I’m apparently such a hardcore gamer (lol) that I’m starting to get pain in my wrists from playing so much. The braces really help though! I got one on Amazon but I actually found another at the dollar store when I went box shopping, and it’s very decent for only being $1. What are the odds!
I started writing in a physical journal again as well, to supplement my online one. It certainly helps with keeping track of my thoughts and activities on a given day, and I can write more private things in it as well that I don’t think I would want to share in detail with the Internet. For example, how insecure I am and the real extent of my insecurities. That’s something that’s best kept to myself, my husband, and my little diary.
Speaking of self-improvement and whatnot, Vyvanse is such a good medicine. It’s honestly being a life-changer for me. I feel so good when I take it, and it gives me so much energy and drive; I can actually stay awake through the day and get things done! When I don’t take it I honestly feel like a dead battery. I spend a lot of time sleeping and don’t have the energy to do anything. Of course, Vyvanse helps with binge-eating too — it makes my appetite significantly smaller and I care less about food. Thank you, Vyvanse.
I don’t know if it’s because of the medicines I’m on, my therapy, getting older, or just general improvement, but I’m becoming more in tune with myself as well. I used to think I have very blunted or mild emotions, like I either feel nothing or I feel it very mildly. But I’ve realized recently that that’s not the case at all. I actually feel everything so intensely that it was probably easier to hide my feelings by dissociating from them, which became a veneer of “I don’t feel much”. I’m learning now to just let myself feel my feelings, and through that I’ve discovered I’m a very emotional and sensitive person. It’s pretty weird and interesting.
Anyway today I’m gonna start going to the gym semi-regularly again! I wanna get more fit and strong — not that I specifically want to get strong, but stronger than the wet tissue paper that I currently am. Losing weight would be good too, especially for my health, but I mostly need to do this for my heart. Heart problems run in my family, so I need to take care of it. Lots of cardio!